Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Universe

I think the universe has boundaries that we cannot cross but we get a lot of what we wish for. I am a person who dislikes using her mind and I got a job that only uses my body and the boredom of this job is soothing to my rattled nerves. I also wished for a mate who would give me security, and I got that also. I remember when I made these wishes and that it was a full year later before these wishes came true. I am just amazed that these wishes came true at all. I was in bad shape at the time, my family had blown apart and didn't care at all for one another.
Families can be found in astrology and it amazes me how family charts are made so that the family can get along with one another. Just as my father was a Virgo and made to serve as Virgos are, my mother had Pluto in her first house and she needed a servant. Cancer is the sign of motherhood, and my father needed someone to mother him as he hadn't had a mother. Stranger still is the charts of their children.
Your Moon rules your emotional life, and when someone's Moon sign is the same as your Sun sign then you have an emotional understanding of this person. As my father is a Virgo, his son had his Moon in Virgo. As my mother is a Cancer, I have my Moon in Cancer.
So it is with my own children, my hubby is a Taurus and my youngest has her Moon in Taurus. Strangely enough, when our marriage was very much in doubt my first child of ours was born, and she has the Moon in Libra which you might say doesn't mean anything, but it does.
As I have been an introvert who does not know how to socialize, my eldest is a Leo with a Libra Moon, who is my opposite. What I lack, she has. In a way our children are gifts to us, really and truly a blessing.
People tell me the way to reality is visualization. You believe in this vision in your mind and then it comes true. I doubt the universe is as simple as that. If that were true then we would be getting what we wish for all the time.
Our wishes I think go with our life's purpose. A clue is the midheaven. My midheaven is in Virgo, and whatever I write and whenever I talk to others, my wish is to improve their life. I want to give good guidance and good advice to to others. I want to help people. The funny thing is that it is I who very much needs help but still this command goes on, even when I am hurting. The midheaven often represents the father and my father was a Virgo. Still, it seems that when I help others I seem to help myself, truly. I was an outcast in elementary school and ate lunch by myself, which was mortifying. When I see someone sitting alone I go and sit with them. It is an instant reflex on my part. I cannot stand to see someone sitting alone because of memories. This was because of my fourth grade teacher, who made fun of me. I was later to learn that she hated my brother who was her student three years before and hated my family and was punishing me for that reason. I was 9 years old and couldn't understand what in the world I had done to deserve her punishments. I spent a great deal of the 4th grade in the principal's office. I think that this experience may have been for the reason of teaching me to help other people who for whatever reason are not in the mainstream, people who are rejected by others. A side effect of this is a deep mistrust of authority and authority figures that I have, I have this deep need to not follow the rules or to fight authority any way I can. I thought it would be helpful to look up my 4th grade teacher and tell her how I felt, then I realized that if she was still alive she would be 90 yrs. old!
There is no fairness to life but we do receive gifts. As if the universe knew I would need some serious strength and the ability to stand alone, I have these aspects in my chart.
One gift is the gift of music from my Moon trine Neptune. Neptune represents dreams and illusions and when I hear music it is like a story unfolding in my mind and it can change my mood from bad to great in 5 minutes! How amazing is that!
One gift is my Grand Trine in fire of Saturn, Mars and Uranus. A trine between Saturn and Mars makes a person very strong, their drive and determination is flowing freely into their sense of rightness and of orderliness. Uranus is our talents, our genius. Mars is my will, welded together with the strength of my Saturn and the talent of my Uranus. What a great trine this is! What this means to me is that when I work on creative projects I do so in an orderly and organized fashion designed to get the most out of myself!
Pluto is a planet that causes a lot of problems in a person's life if badly aspected. I have no problems with Pluto because this planet trines my Sun and sextiles my Moon! This is extremely good for a chart.
Mars represents drive and determination and your ability to survive. There are 3 major ways a planet can be made stronger. If it is on an angle, if it is in the Sign that the planet rules, and if it is conjunct a star that has the same energy. My Mars is in Aries, the sign that Mars rules. My Mars is close to the angle of the nadir, the very bottom of the chart. My Mars is conjunct a star with mostly Martian qualities. This makes the star's energy able to work well because instead of muddying up this energy the energy is pure and sympathetically works together. I have a very powerful Mars. As I have had a terrible childhood so has my brother, and he has Mars on the Ascendant, a very powerful place for a planet to be. This planet was in the sky above him when he drew his first breath when he was born, that is what a planet on the Ascendant means. Mars is our strength and the universe knew that I and my brother would need lots of it! This makes me wonder, was my parents marriage destined to fail? It would seem so looking at their children's charts that they were going to fight a lot and indeed, they did. It would seem it was written in the stars.
But just as I can stand alone and have everything I need in my chart it is that I find myself isolated. My needs are satisfied by myself. I have all the elements of air, earth, fire and water. In a way I just don't need other people at all, and I have been able to survive the awful people I seem to attract. As I project kindness and sympathy people naturally come to me when they need something. I am always asked for money and to run errands for other people of all kinds, to loan people my stuff and to listen. My relationships with others are unsatisfying. Maybe there is a reason for this and the reason is that I was supposed to be alone. I enjoy being alone and solitary pursuits: to listen to music, to read and to write. The universe has given me what I need to survive and not only survive, but to enjoy the life I have. My children themselves are well able to take care of themselves too, they don't need me very much. The universe is kind to me you could say and you could say it has been cruel. I have been drawn by circumstances into this solitary path, maybe the path is my path. My planets are tightly woven together in my chart in mostly good aspects, myself is my strength. Just as a writer is telling a story to himself and entertains himself, later he will put it out there (if it gets published at all) and hopes that maybe other people will enjoy it also. A writer has all this in himself.
You could say your favorite color is a clue to oneself. Astrology books say that Mars is an assertive red and that Neptune is blue and that Moon in Aries is yellow or orange. A Sagittarius is represented by purple. My color is deep blue green, the color of Neptunian dreams and of a Martian Spring, the color of tranquility that I always reach for. Peace or something very much like it.

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